Charles Dickens was referring to London and Paris at the time of the French Revolution, but I’m referring to Christmas. Thanksgiving. Reunions. Weddings. Even the beloved bridal shower falls victim… to tradition, that is.

Oh, traditions. It doesn’t matter WHAT they are–after all, eating turkey and watching football produces a very different experience than donning an evening gown and listening to overly long toasts.Too often, these festive occasions end up being some bizarrely similar combination of special, irritating, meaningful, stressful, happy, and difficult. Like I said, the best AND the worst. But why the strange dichotomy? Let’s explore.

Well obviously there are good things about traditions, otherwise we wouldn’t have them! Lots of our traditions make us feel good. They’re fun, often beautiful, they remind us of happy times in the past, they involve eating a lot of yummy and caloric food. And if they make us feel good, why change?

Except that all too often, adhering too closely to tradition ends up feeling less festive and more… fussy. Stuffy. Holding us back from the real fun to be had. Occasions that should be celebratory end up filling us with a sense of impending doom as we anticipate another precious afternoon or evening spent doing the exact same thing we’ve done a million times before. And I speak from experience when I say that all too often, the biggest culprit is…

It’s such a shame, because I LOVE weddings and all things wedding-related–at least in principle. (Assuming the two people getting married seem happy and are entering into the union of their own free will.) And I’ve been to some seriously FAB bridal showers (like my own, actually). Bridal showers can be such a beautiful and meaningful celebration, and they can also be sooooo fun. I mean, look at these ladies at a fabulous shower featuring 21Seeds tequila (more to come on this shortly):

That being said, I can’t be the only person who hasn’t at one time felt a certain, ahem, lack of enthusiasm at a bridal shower invitation. But why?

[Disclaimer: The traditions I’m referring to are based on the “stereotypical” bridal showers as portrayed in film, TV, by Martha Stewart, and my own family, and probably don’t reflect unique and rich traditions of various other cultural/ethnic groups.]

Bridal showers have been around for a long time, originating in 16th century Holland as a way to help out women too poor to afford a dowry. Then bougie Victorian-era Americans got wind of the idea and turned the bridal shower into an upper-class affair, a time for ladies to gossip, preen, and inform the bride-to-be of her wifely duties. As society events, they were very proper, classy, and dripping with etiquette.

Fast forward to now, and while bridal showers came to the masses, “etiquette” too often persists: organized by the mother (or a relative) of the bride, reserved for women, gifts of household items, featuring brunch or, I don’t know, Cobb salads, mildly-to-moderately silly (and boring) games, small talk. Meh.

But the times HAVE changed–a lot. We’ve revamped old traditions and made fabulous new ones: Friendsgiving, Galentines Day, Taco Tuesday… Weddings have also changed dramatically, particularly as they’ve become more inclusive. We’re embracing fun and individuality in a way that wasn’t socially acceptable before, and it’s awesome.

I urge you: Break free! Ignore Emily Post! Do your own thing! There are so many ways to make a bridal shower the party it should be, but let me share one fabulous twist on an already popular trend: a DIY cocktail bar. Specifically:

The idea is a variation on the popular candy/bouquet bars popping up all over the party world, except with alcohol (and therefore vastly superior). The true beauty of a Seed & Soda bar is that because 21Seeds tequilas are already infused with incredible and natural fruit flavors, a lot of the work is already done for you! Rather than spend beaucoup bucks on various liquors and mixers, all you need for a simple Seed & Soda bar is 21Seeds tequila, club soda, and fruit slices. Seriously, you’ll be amazed at how many drink combinations you can make from just these ingredients, and your guests will be thrilled to customize their own drinks (and also because they’re at a bridal shower that’s actually FUN).

If you want to see a Seed & Soda bar in action, check out more pics from this absolutely gorgeous shower designed and planned for Kristen Smith by Beijos Events and Golden Arrow Events & Design–and of course, with tequila provided by 21Seeds!